Texans-Colts 12/24/2006 - A Review of the Game
Thanks to the redundant, miserable monotony that is being a Texans fan, we here at H-Town Sports are happy to be the first media outlet to provide an in-depth review of the Christmas Eve tilt between the Texans and Colts, which the Colts won in a rout. Here's a quick overview:
1. [Choose from: embarrassing, humiliating, uninspired, gutless] performance by the Texans, which has become routine at this point in Year Five.
2. [Choose from: Ron Dayne, Wali Lundy, Chris Taylor, Samkon Gado] looked pretty decent at RB – maybe not a franchise back, but decent production for a [choose from: waiver pickup, 6th round draft pick, undrafted free agent]. If he could do this on a weekly basis, maybe the Texans could address other needs in the 2007 Draft.
3. Morlon Greenwood is better than last year. Maybe he isn’t a disaster after all.
4. DeMeco Ryans [choose from: is a Pro Bowler and future Hall of Famer, may be direct descendant of Christ, makes me forget Dick Butkus, is the new face of the franchise] If he does not win NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year, there should be riots in the streets.
5. Mario Williams shows considerable promise. He's not Reggie White yet, and his numbers don’t necessarily reflect it, but he sure [choose from: penetrated the line of scrimmage, took on double teams, forced the run game to the opposite side of the field] consistently on Sunday.
6. Chad Stanley clearly has compromising pictures of Joe Marciano and kicks like a handicapped Rockette.
7. Has the shine been tarnished off of any star moreso than Dunta Robinson? He’s regressed significantly this season.
8. Owen Daniels seems to have promise at TE. It’d be nice to see him become more involved in the offense. Of course, it'd be nice if any offensive player became more involved in the offense at this point.
9. News Flash: David Carr [choose from: exhibits no on-field leadership, cannot feel pressure in the pocket, makes terrible decisions, sure took a wallop to the midsection, cannot read defenses, is hated by his coach, cannot possibly be the starting QB next season].
10. Gary Kubiak is still the man, despite all of this mess. He’s going to get this thing turned around and win a lot of games in Houston. Count on it. Oh, and start soon please.
11. I expect Reliant Stadium to be at about 40% capacity this week. I’m going to have to drink heavily to endure this week’s game with [insert opponent here].
1. [Choose from: embarrassing, humiliating, uninspired, gutless] performance by the Texans, which has become routine at this point in Year Five.
2. [Choose from: Ron Dayne, Wali Lundy, Chris Taylor, Samkon Gado] looked pretty decent at RB – maybe not a franchise back, but decent production for a [choose from: waiver pickup, 6th round draft pick, undrafted free agent]. If he could do this on a weekly basis, maybe the Texans could address other needs in the 2007 Draft.
3. Morlon Greenwood is better than last year. Maybe he isn’t a disaster after all.
4. DeMeco Ryans [choose from: is a Pro Bowler and future Hall of Famer, may be direct descendant of Christ, makes me forget Dick Butkus, is the new face of the franchise] If he does not win NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year, there should be riots in the streets.
5. Mario Williams shows considerable promise. He's not Reggie White yet, and his numbers don’t necessarily reflect it, but he sure [choose from: penetrated the line of scrimmage, took on double teams, forced the run game to the opposite side of the field] consistently on Sunday.
6. Chad Stanley clearly has compromising pictures of Joe Marciano and kicks like a handicapped Rockette.
7. Has the shine been tarnished off of any star moreso than Dunta Robinson? He’s regressed significantly this season.
8. Owen Daniels seems to have promise at TE. It’d be nice to see him become more involved in the offense. Of course, it'd be nice if any offensive player became more involved in the offense at this point.
9. News Flash: David Carr [choose from: exhibits no on-field leadership, cannot feel pressure in the pocket, makes terrible decisions, sure took a wallop to the midsection, cannot read defenses, is hated by his coach, cannot possibly be the starting QB next season].
10. Gary Kubiak is still the man, despite all of this mess. He’s going to get this thing turned around and win a lot of games in Houston. Count on it. Oh, and start soon please.
11. I expect Reliant Stadium to be at about 40% capacity this week. I’m going to have to drink heavily to endure this week’s game with [insert opponent here].
4 Comments:
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
The sad thing is, you're absolutely right. I think McNair should lower ticket prices, because there is no way anyone goes to a Texans game at these prices. Or at the very least, offer a partial refund if they lose again.
What does this post have anything to do with a recap of the game? It just sounds like a year-end review of players' talents. The only reason I read this was because COLTS were mentioned in the headline, yet not a single word about them in the post.
Being angry != game recap
High levels of sarcasm from writers + low IQ readers = large propensity for terrible comments.
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