H-Town Sports

Houston Sports Blog - Real sports cities have TWO Conference USA teams

Monday, December 18, 2006

The Texans Are Excruciatingly Horrible

I'm getting a bit sick of beginning every Texans post with something to the effect of "Words cannot describe how pathetic..." But the hometown team hasn't given me much of a reason to deviate from that practice, and yesterday's 40-7 abomination was definitely not the exception to the rule. In fact, after careful consideration, I'm of the opinion that yesterday may well have been the worst game in franchise history. And that's saying a lot for a team that has a lifetime record of 22-56. Despite above-average play from a defense that constantly took the field already in its own territory, the Texans never put forth the slightest bit of evidence that they could compete with the Patriots. Not that anyone thought they'd pull out a win, but the Texans offense didn't even show up. If I wasn't already dead inside from last week's loss to VY & Co., I would be apoplectic. Instead, I'm simply resigned to my fate. Given the team's performance over the last several weeks, I'd be absolutely shocked if Reliant Stadium is at 40% capacity for the remaining games against the Colts (on Christmas Eve) and the Browns (on New Year's Eve). I think the loss to Buffalo on 11/19/06 was the beginning of the end of this season; the Texans haven't put together anything resembling a quality game since then. As a result, the games every Sunday are the equivalent of water torture. A few more thoughts:

1. David Carr threw four (4!) picks and fumbled once. Though the fumble was recovered, I don't think it's possible for Carr to have played any worse. Even if he had run backward out of the Texans' end zone after every snap, shrieking the entire time, before finally falling down into a fetal position and sobbing on the sideline.

a. I'll bet Carr still doesn't see Tedy Bruschi dropping into coverage when he watches the film.

b. The offensive line has played poorly the last few weeks, but Carr's performance is not on them. Bakersfield's Finest is simply beyond done as a Texan.

c. There's no way another team will offer anything, including a complimentary punch to Charley Casserly's face, for Carr this off-season. Assuming another team is even interested, why give up anything when everyone KNOWS the Texans are going to be forced to cut him? Why willingly inherit Carr's contract? The Lions got a freaking sixth round pick for Joey Harrington. The Texans aren't even going to get that for a guy with five (5!) years experience as a starting QB.

d. Memo to Bob McNair: If you have any respect for David Carr at all, don't let the offense get introduced before the last two games of the season. But if you have any love for the fans that are still shelling out hard-earned money for a completely unwatchable product, give the fans a chance to exact a pound of proverbial flesh by booing their "franchise QB" before he leaves town for greener pastures.

2. Every week, it becomes clearer and clearer that Gary Kubiak hates David Carr. Between the ridiculously scaled back playbook and the look of complete rage after every turnover, Kubes may actually want Carr gone even more than the rapidly shrinking fan base.

a. Speaking of Kubes, I still love the guy. Despite everyone laying an egg almost every week, Kubes always willingly takes 100% of the blame to deflect it off the team and coaches. The guy is going to get it done in Houston. Count on it.

3. I guess Andre Johnson and Eric Moulds have entered the witness protection program. Those guys were ghosts yesterday.

4. I still don't think Ron Dayne is an every-down back, but wow. He has carried the offense the last few weeks. Regardless of how the Domanick Davis/Wali Lundy/Chris Taylor thing plays out, I hope Dayne is on the roster next year as a change of pace RB.

5. DeMeco Ryans--another ten (10) tackles. Every Sunday, I can't shake the feeling that we'll be bragging about having watched him play twenty years from now.

6. I'm officially a fan of Morlon Greenwood. And I'm also a confirmed idiot for questioning whether he could be a consistent force. The dude is stringing together nine (9) tackle performances like it's child's play.

7. I get more and more worried about Dunta Robinson's regression every week. He is literally a shell of what he was as a rookie. Was Aaron Glenn really that much of a positive influence on him? Dunta hasn't been the same since the Texans waived Glenn last year.

8. A few guys the Texans passed on in 2005 so they could select Travis Johnson with the 16th pick in the first round: Derrick Johnson (went 15th, but remember that the Texans traded back with the Saints; he was available when they originally picked), Lofa Tatupu (second round pick), Frank Gore (third round pick). I know he's been on injured reserve for a few weeks now, but I sure am glad that Casserly saw something in "The Next Deacon Jones!"

a. Every time I think of DJ, Tatupu, or Gore in a Texans uniform, I die a little inside. And it happens every Sunday, regardless of whether Tr. Johnson actually suits up.

9. Chad Stanley must have compromising photographs of Joe Marciano's family. There's no other explanation for his continued employment with the Houston Texans.

10. I think Peyton Manning could beat the Texans with residents from a local retirement home lining up at WR on Sunday. It's going to be the equivalent of getting dog poop in our collective Christmas stocking. Happy Holidays, H-Town!


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