An Open Letter to Vince Young.
Dearest Vincent-
By now, you are likely taking a few days of well-deserved rest after the insanity of the NFL Draft. At the outset of this missive, allow us to congratulate you. Your accomplishments on the collegiate level have led to you being the third player taken overall in the entire draft. Kudos to you. You deserve it. You brought great joy to us throughout your time at Madison High School and the University of Texas, and we look forward to watching you on the next level.
Of course, we're not very excited about your new employer. As you know, your boss left us (and that includes you, fellow Houstonian) high and dry some nine years ago. We're fairly certain Bud Adams is the spawn of Lucifer and selected you purely to spite an entire city. Indeed, one can almost imagine him cackling maniacally, turning toward Reliant Stadium, and extending two middle fingers skyward before telling his minions to take "that Vance Youngblood feller." If you wanted to push him down a flight of stairs at the Oilers' training facility in Nashville, that'd be fine by us. Hell, it'd just add to your legend. We're pretty sure it would result in you getting the Bagwell and Biggio treatment outside Reliant Stadium, thus breaking their record of "fastest time to be immortalized in bronze during an active career."
Although we must now be on opposite sides in the AFC South, please rest assured that we will be rooting for your success fifty out of every fifty-two weeks of the year. And if you don't mind, take a knee a couple of times a game if you see Mario Williams in your vicinity. Dude's gonna need to pad those sack statistics to keep us from calling him Mike Mamula II.
Very Truly Yours,
The City of Houston
P.S. Feel free to sign a short contract with the Oilers. We're probably going to be looking for a QB in a couple of years.
By now, you are likely taking a few days of well-deserved rest after the insanity of the NFL Draft. At the outset of this missive, allow us to congratulate you. Your accomplishments on the collegiate level have led to you being the third player taken overall in the entire draft. Kudos to you. You deserve it. You brought great joy to us throughout your time at Madison High School and the University of Texas, and we look forward to watching you on the next level.
Of course, we're not very excited about your new employer. As you know, your boss left us (and that includes you, fellow Houstonian) high and dry some nine years ago. We're fairly certain Bud Adams is the spawn of Lucifer and selected you purely to spite an entire city. Indeed, one can almost imagine him cackling maniacally, turning toward Reliant Stadium, and extending two middle fingers skyward before telling his minions to take "that Vance Youngblood feller." If you wanted to push him down a flight of stairs at the Oilers' training facility in Nashville, that'd be fine by us. Hell, it'd just add to your legend. We're pretty sure it would result in you getting the Bagwell and Biggio treatment outside Reliant Stadium, thus breaking their record of "fastest time to be immortalized in bronze during an active career."
Although we must now be on opposite sides in the AFC South, please rest assured that we will be rooting for your success fifty out of every fifty-two weeks of the year. And if you don't mind, take a knee a couple of times a game if you see Mario Williams in your vicinity. Dude's gonna need to pad those sack statistics to keep us from calling him Mike Mamula II.
Very Truly Yours,
The City of Houston
P.S. Feel free to sign a short contract with the Oilers. We're probably going to be looking for a QB in a couple of years.
posted by Anonymous | 1:41 PM
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