Tourney Time at the BOSL

If you think March Madness is scintillating, then wait until you've experienced August Anarchy, BOSL-style.

Game 1: Chaos Unloaded v. Throwdown Inc.:
As the names and records suggest, these teams spent more time coming up with totally radical team names than perfecting their on-field skills. Therefore, assuming both teams do not find a way to somehow lose this game, I'll take the Incorporation of Throwdown in an intimate contest, but that by no means has to anything do with the sexual preference of either team, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Game 2: Porn Stars v. Throwdown Inc.
Should Chaos upset Throwdown in the first game, we could be forced to watch Gay v. Porn in Game 2, but hopefully the stars will intervene and prevent such a disturbing development. Porn should win out in this one, like it so often does.


Game 3: The Rac v. Old School:
This is an intriguing first-round battle between a crew of wily veterans (The Rac) and a ironically named, up-and-coming team in Old School. Old School can slug, but the Rac is just too balanced to go out early.

Game 4: Angry Pirates v. Imogene:
I will admit to some significant bias, but I personally think that this is the dream bracket for your beloved Pirates. Should the seedings hold form, the Pirates will get a chance to take out each of their fiercest rivals in order on their way to the crown. First up is Imogene, who has engaged the Pirates in a series of roller-coaster tilts over the past three seasons, including last week's overtime Imogene victory. I fully expect the Pirates to come out ablaze and cruise to an easy win over Imogene.

Game 5: The Rac v. Angry Pirates
This is the championship match, in my opinion. The Rac will not beat itself, and the Pirates must bring their A-game to this one or be forced to walk the proverbial plank. The Pirates' loss to the Rac earlier this season came without their star LF and incredibly drunk DH, and I believe that a full ship of Pirates will smell Porn in the water and win a close one here.

Championship Game: Angry Pirates v. Porn Stars
In a matchup that would be more appropriately broadcast on PPV than ESPN, the championship match should be incredible. So good in fact that I am going to hold off on making a prediction in this one. The Porn Stars come in with a swagger and narrowly defeated the Pirates earlier this year in extra innings. Let's hope that Skipper McHale is able to unscrew the bubbly in a truly ceremonial fashion this time around.