Straight From The Mouth of the Worst Pitcher in the History of All Baseball...
After posting another impressive line (2/3 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, O K) in yet another meltdown that cost the Astros a game in extra innings, The Rooster had this to say:
"Unfortunately, we had some close games that we just had get away. The game in Pittsburgh, I was at the end of that one, too {Editor's Note: No way! I had completely forgotten about that one! But now I remember...I screamed like a seven year old girl and broke a window when you gave up that game-tying HR and then followed it up by THROWING A WILD PITCH ON AN INTENTIONAL WALK! Wow! I don't know how I could have forgotten that! Thanks for reminding me of that awful experience.}. I accepted this challenge today, but I just had a couple of bad pitches."
There are a couple of other gems in the recap at http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/sports/3919102.html (namely, that he's "disappointed with the way [his] season is going" and that he "takes it personally"), but that's by far my favorite. You accepted the challenge, Mike? Really? How would you go about not accepting the challenge? "Gee, Scrap, I'm not really feeling it today. Think I'll just sit here and throw the rosin bag around in the bullpen." Actually, that sounds tremendous. From now on, new rule: Do not accept the challenge under any circumstance. And you "just" threw "a couple" bad pitches? Are you freaking kidding me? That implies that you are capable of throwing a good pitch. If we all assume that 86 mph cheese does not a constitute a good pitch (a dangerous assumption, to be sure), when was the last time you actually threw a good pitch? I'm shaking just thinking about the self-delusion you must maintain to even think such a ridiculous lie.
In all seriousness, I almost jumped out of my window yesterday when Garner put Gallo in the game. The guy is the antithesis of a lockdown closer. As in, he enters the game and you know the opposition is going to come up with a run or two. Why in the world you'd EVER put him in a game when there is ANYONE available to pitch, I have no clue. If yesterday's performance isn't the death knell in his "career" in an Astros uniform, I am officially convinced that Gallo can not do anything to get demoted. He'd better be sent to Round Rock today. And by "sent to Round Rock," I mean "drawn and quartered like William Wallace."
"Unfortunately, we had some close games that we just had get away. The game in Pittsburgh, I was at the end of that one, too {Editor's Note: No way! I had completely forgotten about that one! But now I remember...I screamed like a seven year old girl and broke a window when you gave up that game-tying HR and then followed it up by THROWING A WILD PITCH ON AN INTENTIONAL WALK! Wow! I don't know how I could have forgotten that! Thanks for reminding me of that awful experience.}. I accepted this challenge today, but I just had a couple of bad pitches."
There are a couple of other gems in the recap at http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/sports/3919102.html (namely, that he's "disappointed with the way [his] season is going" and that he "takes it personally"), but that's by far my favorite. You accepted the challenge, Mike? Really? How would you go about not accepting the challenge? "Gee, Scrap, I'm not really feeling it today. Think I'll just sit here and throw the rosin bag around in the bullpen." Actually, that sounds tremendous. From now on, new rule: Do not accept the challenge under any circumstance. And you "just" threw "a couple" bad pitches? Are you freaking kidding me? That implies that you are capable of throwing a good pitch. If we all assume that 86 mph cheese does not a constitute a good pitch (a dangerous assumption, to be sure), when was the last time you actually threw a good pitch? I'm shaking just thinking about the self-delusion you must maintain to even think such a ridiculous lie.
In all seriousness, I almost jumped out of my window yesterday when Garner put Gallo in the game. The guy is the antithesis of a lockdown closer. As in, he enters the game and you know the opposition is going to come up with a run or two. Why in the world you'd EVER put him in a game when there is ANYONE available to pitch, I have no clue. If yesterday's performance isn't the death knell in his "career" in an Astros uniform, I am officially convinced that Gallo can not do anything to get demoted. He'd better be sent to Round Rock today. And by "sent to Round Rock," I mean "drawn and quartered like William Wallace."
posted by Anonymous | 9:34 AM
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