Bengals 14, Astros 0

Forgive the obvious title of the post, but it's rare you get to mix in a football analogy in a baseball analysis. Given that a statistic on "Time of Possession" actually flashed across the screen last night, however, I think the comparison is apt.

Well, Astros fans, it's over. Scott will be running the appropriate toe tag image later today. Not only did the boys lose, they lost in legendary fashion. What can even be said about last night's game? Thanks for laying an egg the size of the Astrodome, Jason Hirsh. You made me question the existence of the Almighty last night. And after the profuse praise I lavished on D-Bork, he rewarded my admiration by doing his best to kill me. Thanks for nothing. Once again, the Astros didn't hit with guys on base. Hell, they didn't hit at all. Kyle Lohse looked like Cy Freaking Young. Kyle Lohse, the guy who had been demoted to Minnesota's bullpen earlier this season. Excellent.

Roy O takes the mound this afternoon in an attempt to avoid the sweep, but it doesn't really matter anymore. The 2006 Astros season is over. Ever the optimist, I would like to thank the 'Stros for making baseball irrelevant approximately one week before football season starts. This clears up my calendar considerably. Now I can focus my full attention on inappropriate and uncomfortable man-love for Mack & Co. and The Kubiak Corporation.