Much Ado about Nothing

I never thought that soccer would inspire such passion in my soul, but I was wrong. Of course, the fire in my belly is completely unrelated to anything occurring on the "pitch", but instead directed at the completely hypocritical, braindead morons who complained about the chosen team name "1836" so much that the cowards in charge have agreed to change it.

A few quick caveats before I rant any further:
1. I will not attend one MLS game, even at gunpoint.
2. I will not watch one MLS highlight on TV, even if offered $1 million. It's a matter of principle, not logic.
3. "1836" was quite possibly the stupidest team name I'd ever heard to begin with, but to call it "offensive" is analogous to so-called "British-Americans" calling the New England NFL team's nickname "offensive".

This article in the Chronicle today sums up the current state of affairs. My first demand is that any person of Mexican descent living in America who is bitching about this team name IMMEDIATELY cease and desist from demanding to be called a "Mexican-American". Clearly, if you are offended by the mere mention of the date 170 years ago in which Mexico lost a war in which your current home state won its independence, you are by definition NOT an American. You are by definition a Mexican. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a Mexcian. Being a Mexican is certainly something to be proud of, and if I was from Mexico and the mere thought of my kin losing a war 170 years ago drove me that crazy, I would proudly call myself a "Mexican" and more than likely move back to my precious homeland. You simply cannot live in a free country, benefit from all of its innumerable assets and still make such preposterous demands and complaints. It is beyond hypocritical. Are not Bob McNair and Friends rubbing those same complainants' noses in the mud everytime they mention "the Texans"? Should that team also change its name to something less "offensive"? I mean, it was only 170 years ago that Mexicans walked this "Texan" landscape freely. Where's LULAC on this one?

Much like the theatrical athletes in this sport who fling themselves onto the ground and wave pathetically for a gurney when they so much as brush cleats with an opposing player, it is clear that the administrators and executives in this sport similarly throw up the white flag when confronted with any sign of conflict or convtroversy, even in the event that it is completely unfounded and laughable. I wish for once someone would stand up to these idiots and fight their "claim" all the way to the highest court in the land. Otherwise, it is clear that this ignorance will find no bounds.


EDIT: I got through my rant and failed to mention the extremely ill-suited nickname of the Philadelphia NBA team (for those British-Americans among us, I'll spare mention of the specifics so as to prevent you from incurring the severe emotional and physical duress that would surely result). Obviously, something's going to have to give in Philly as well...